For Saturn

If you struggle with daily practices and consistency, this is for you. 

For about a year now I’ve been cultivating relationship with the planetary deity Saturn and it has been life changing. 

I want to share something about this bounty as it is a particularly potent part of my psychedelic integration process. 

I will preface this by letting you know that the vast majority of my understanding of Saturn and his energy is from my own personal work with him and I therefore may say things that are not completely in alignment with what other people are saying. I believe that in magic, more than almost any other discipline, we can and must be our own authorities on the nuances. Magic acts as a tool that we use to interface with the great mystery and each of us has our own unique lens through which we explore and perceive that mystery. 

I’ve come to understand Saturn as the great container. If there’s anything I’ve learned as a student of psychedelics, it's that every experience is defined by its container. Taking a psychedelic at a music festival is vastly different from taking it in a medicine circle. 

In coaching, the container looks like financial exchange, verbal agreements, contracts, and the intentions of the coach and client. 

Saturn is the holder of the great container of 3D reality and therefore, human experience. It's only through the embodiment of a physical avatar that we can dance, cry, make love and give birth. Saturn holds a tight ship and it's to him that we owe the depth of experience that we are all, no doubt, so familiar with. If this 3D illusion was any less convincing, we would not be able to experience it with such conviction and sincerity. 

What would love and poetry be without such conviction?

Within the structures of this powerful container there are some tricks that Saturn elucidates that can be tremendously helpful. He asks us to build things over time and to trust the unfolding. He rewards us when we are consistent and true to our word.

I struggled for years with discipline and regular practices.

Let me rephrase that… 

I have spent the vast majority of my life denying and altogether avoiding any sort of routine or consistency of practice and focus. The years of studying under psychedelic teacher medicines did not bring me any closer to these insights. If anything, they added a greater element of chaos to my experience. I won’t say that the sacred plant teachings weren't relevant to my newfound perseverance... but it was the practice of magic, with Saturn specifically, that brought me to the place of truly showing up for myself consistently, over time.

I started my journey with Saturn because I was seeking protection. My first offering to him was simply to write something (at least one sentence) every single day for two weeks. This felt like an enormous undertaking, but a month later I was still writing to Saturn. 

In writing to him I slowly unfolded the power of his teachings. I think that the reason Saturn's teachings were such a huge game changer for me is simply because it was a huge area of opportunity in my life. I knew that if I could just do things regularly over time, I would build something… flexibility, patience, strength.. you name it. 

Taking things on from the perspective of building them slowly and patiently used to feel like toast without butter. It felt like the blandest most ugh ughness I could imagine. Of course, now I’m going to tell you how rewarding, fruitful and exciting it can be. 

The transmission that comes through the strongest for me in all of this is as follows: We all have ebbs and flows. We all have times when we feel inspired to show up for the thing, and times when we do not. For me, these waves usually come in increments of weeks, for some it may be moment to moment. If you can show up no matter your internal weather; then you will cultivate something that can grow so much bigger than those tiny incremental moments. 

Even if you feel like you just absolutely can’t, do it. 

Do it in the most minimal pitiful way if you must, but do it. 

Do some half-assed, pathetic, lying on the couch, petting my cat right now but still doing it version of the thing if that’s all you can show up for, but keep the thread going. 

Keep it going through thick and thin and it will grow, and it will get easier, and everything will change.